COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY JOKES!!

peace po tayo...joke only...

Favorite Snacks ng Students:

LaSalle: Lay's
Ateneo: Cheetos
SanBeda: Pringles
Letran: Spudz
JRU:Boy Bawang

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Favorite Chocolate:

LaSalle: Ferrero Rocher
Ateneo: Macadamia Nuts
SanBeda: Cadbury
Letran: Hersheys
JRU: HANY(choknat)

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Favorite vehicle brands

LaSalle: Porsche
Ateneo: Jaguar
SanBeda: Mercedes Benz
Letran: BMW
JRU: SARAO

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Mirienda ng students:

LaSalle: double cheese burger
Ateneo: double hotdog in a bun
SanBeda: double cheesedog
Letran: double burger
JRU: DOUBLE MINT

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college students daring to eat street foods:

LaSalle: eeew!dirty
Ateneo: yuck! what are those?!
SanBeda: kadiri! if u want cheap foods sa jollibee n lang tayo
Letran: wag jan mga pre... dami nakukuha mga sakit
JRU: WAG YAN!! MAHAL YAN!!!

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Naiicp niu ba kung anu mga sinasabi ng taga JRU pag nagdadasal?

LaSalle: st. john baptist de la salle, pray for us....
Ateneo: st. ignatius, pray for us
San Sebastian: st.sebastian, pray for us
San Beda: st.benedict, st bede, pray for us/that in all things god may be glorified
JRU: our holy father national hero jose rizal?!?!?!

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Sponsored towels per team...

LaSalle: Nike
Ateneo: Adidas
SanBeda: And1
Letran: Accel
CSB: K-swiss
PCU: SM BASICS
JRU: GOODMORNING TOWELS!(popularized by jeepney drivers)

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Favorite legends of all time:

LaSalle: Michael Jordan
Ateneo: Magic Johnson
SanBeda: Larry Bird
Letran: Kareem Abdul Jabar
PCU: Jaworski
JRU: Dr.J..................Andy JAO!!

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Fave Noon Time Show:

LaSalle: LBO(lunch box office)
SanBeda: eat bulaga
Letran: wowowee
PCU:CHOW TIME!!
JRU: ROSA ROSAL PRESENTS!! ahhaH!H

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Favorite Men's Journal of students

LaSalle: PlayBoy
Ateneo: Penthouse
SanBeda: UNO
Letran: Vogue
JRU: BALITANG TORO(sold under LRT stations)

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Favorite partysounds artists:

LaSalle: Bonnie Bailey
Ateneo: Benny Bennassi
SanBeda: Daft Punk
Letran: Dj Tiesto
JRU: APRIL BOY REGINO!

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Favorite Restaurant ng students:

LaSalle: Fridays
Ateneo: Figgaro
SanBeda: Aristocrat
Letran: Tokyo Tokyo
JRU: Sakan......
sakanto may pishbolan

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TV NG MGA STUDENTS:

LaSalle: Samsung
Ateneo: Sony
SanBeda: Phillips
Letran: Toshiba
JRU: AIWA..........LA CLANG TV

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Favorite TV Channel:

LaSalle: HBO
Ateneo: Star Movies
SanBeda: AXN
Letran: Jack TV
JRU: DZMM!!

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School Battle Cry:
LaSalle: Animo LaSalle!!
Ateneo: One Big Fight!!
SanBeda: Animo San Beda/Go san beda fight!!
Letran: Arriba Letran!!
Mapua: Viva Carde!!
SanSebastian: Bravo Baste!!
JRU: HOPIA MANI POPCORN!!!

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Beda - to become a good lawyer
Letran - to become good in I.T.
Mapua - to become a good engineer
PCU - manalo sa WOWOWEE!!

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After class:
CSB - tambay, punta sa kotse
Letran - punta mall, coffee break
Beda - tambay, review notes
Mapua - punta walls, pa cute cute
PCU - uwi agad, laba-laba

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Pag may kaaway:
CSB- Aikido
Beda- Judo
Letran- akokwondo
JRU- Boxing
PCU- Sayunachi...Sayonachi...Sayonachinelas ko...TAKBO!

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Where To Go To College?

If you have some brains and lots money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle
If you have no money,and no brains go to PCU.

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Sa isang bar:

Letran: Waiter, a glass Dom Perignon, please.
Beda: Johnny Walker Blue Label, on the rocks.
Mapua: Smirnoff. Shaken, not stirred.
Benilde: I'll have some Bacardi, will you please hurry up?
JRU: Teka, teka. Isa-isa lang ho ang order.

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Situation: nanakawan ng cellphone

MAPUA: K lang yan, bibilan uli ako ng mom ko pag nakita nya grades ko this sem.
Beda: Pare ano magandang phone ngayon?
CSB: Gosh, I think it's my phone I saw at Rob Place!
Letran: Kainis! Na-snatch phone ko sa walls!
PCU: Tang-ina brick game ko???

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favorite watches ng mga universities:

Ateneo: rolex
La Salle: tag heuer
Mapua: Swatch
San Beda: Seiko kinetic
PCU: rpn 9

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Letran, San Beda, together with the blue and the green in the other league, belonged to the old ALL BOYS schools of the past. It was only of recent history that these 4 institutions took in female students.

A Letranite of the old school visited the Muralla campus and saw the beautiful, tall, charming, and star-like qualities of the female students. His jaw dropped and exclaimed: Kung mayroon akong classmates na ganito during my time, na control ko sana yung urges ko for the female sex at hindi ako nagging MANIAKIS!

Likewise, a Bedan of the old school visited the Mendiola campus and saw the beautiful, tall, charming, and star-like qualities of the female students. His jaw dropped and exclaimed: Kung mayroon akong classmates na ganito during my time, na develop sana yung urges ko for the female sex at hindi ako nagging BADING!

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Professor: The Earth’s biosphere includes the...

Bedan : LITOSPHERE!
LETRAN : HYDROSPHERE
MAPUA : ATMOSPHERE
PCU : BRITNEY SPEARS

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Letranista: Knock Knock!
Bedista: Who's there?
Letranista: Letranite!
Bedista: Patawad!

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Top 10 schools sa pinas

U.P - University of the Poor
ADMU - Ayaw Daw Mag UP
DLSU - Di Lusot Sa UP
MAPUA- Meron Akong Pangarap UP Ako
SLU ( baguio)- Sana Lang UP
ST.PAUL- Sana Talaga Pasado Ako UP Lord!
PLM - Pamantasan Sa Likod ng MAPUA
FEU- Failed to Enter UP
CEU - Cannot Enter UP

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Reaction to a lizard
after seeing a lizard:

Mapua: Uy, Piticus lizardus!
JRU: Ay, butiki!
Beda: Eek, lizard!
CSB: Hey, La Coste!

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Birthday Party

Suppose a student form Letran had a birthday party. He decided to invite the following people:

- His best friend
- a humble Atenean
- an intelligent La Sallite
- a law student from san beda who graduated on time
- a clown
- Darna mascot

Suddenly, the lights go out and when it goes on again, your cake is gone. The million-dollar question is:

Who took your cake?

Answer:

Your best friend. All the other guests are merely figments of your imagination.

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Suicidal Sandwich

There were three friends: a student from Jru, Beda, and La Salle(so you know this story is fictional). Anyway, everyday, they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.

JRU: Putek!!! Peanut-butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na naman ang baon ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.

Beda: Darn!!! Roast beef sandwich again? I'm sick of this already. If I get another roast beef sandwich again tomorrow, I'm gonna shoot myself.

La Salle: Oh my gosh, grabe!!! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I'm so sawa with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon tomorrow is ham sandwich again, I'm gonna drive my CRV over the cliff.

The next morning, they again met for lunch, and, alas, they had the same sandwiches again.

The Jru student went back to his dorm, pulled out a belt, and choked himself to death.

The Bedan went home, got a gun, and shot himself in the head.

The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.

During their funeral, their mothers were interviewed:

JRU: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko sa kanya.

Beda: If he had told me that he didn't want roast beef anymore, I wouldn't have given him roast beef.

La Salle: Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich.

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A TYPICAL CONVERSATION
La Sallites meet on the street and carry on a typical La Sallite
conversation:
La Sallite #1: If you can tell me how many chickens I have in this bag,
I will give you both of them.
La Sallite #2: Uh, two?
La Sallite #1: Daya mo! You peeked!

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QUESTION AND ANSWER
Q: What should an Bedan do when a La Sallite hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Bedan should pick up the grenade, pull the firing pin, and hurl
it back at the La Sallite.

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ulitin ko po...dyok unleh!